Living the Dream...

So for like 10 years now, I've had an awful recurring dream where my teeth are loose and falling out, and I kind of have to shove them back in place. Since I got my first front tooth extracted and implant installed, the dreams have pretty much ceased.

Today, however, I went to get my other front tooth pulled (because "short roots," blah blah blah, "need to take proactive steps," blah blah) to start the implant process on it. The nice oral surgeon removed my tooth, did a bone graft, stitched me up, and installed, and I say installed because he used a torque wrench and a screwdriver, onto my single implant at spot #9 (front left tooth) two shiny new front teeth to cover the gap while the extraction site heals. It was pretty neato until this afternoon when the swelling subsided and my two brand new front teeth got loose and started to move wildly.

And in an odd sense of deja vu, I shoved my teeth back into place, called one of the many dental professionals that I see, and said, "My teeth are falling out." And my teeth wiggled and jiggled with me trying to put it back into place every now and then all the way to the prosthedontist where they had to reinstall my teeth.

This was not really the dream I wanted to live out. But at least now my teeth are firmly attached to my jaw.

Not an Optimal Family Reunion...

This past weekend, my family buried my grandmother. It is so remarkable how many people loved my grandmother and her family and was most obviously showcased by the unbelievable amount of flowers that surrounded her gravesite.

The funeral was a Buddhist one, and while I understood the rudiments, if you asked me, I would not be able to explain to you everything that went on. My aunt could not read her whole speech, and my cousin's reading, echoing so close my own sadness, moved me to tears. But there was something beautiful about the monks' chanting and something especially moving and sad when my father and his siblings poured tea and offered rice -- offering my grandmother her first meal in heaven.

It was good to be with my family during this time. And, as one of my cousins noted, it was very remarkable that we were only missing four grandchildren -- my own two siblings and two of my cousins from Germany. We caught up at a family dinner following the funeral.

Almost all of my generation (missing 4), including 2 in-laws & 1 in-law-to-be

Entire family, plus great-aunt & cousin once-removed, missing 4 of my cousins and the photographer (my aunt's husband)

In Loving Memory

This past week, my grandmother passed away. I've been struggling to figure out what I can say about this wonderful woman that can capture who she was and what she means to me. I don't know if I have the right words yet to describe her, my love for her, or my loss. She was one of the most important people in my life. I love her very much, and I miss her very much.

What a Month!

So I don't know what to make of July 2007. It started off great. I was recovering nicely from dental surgery, I got a new part-time gig to supplement my contract work income, and I was about to watch Transformers.

Then my father called on the 4th of July to say that he was flying from Hawaii that day. All of a sudden. My grandmother was in the hospital, and things were looking panicked and dire. Since then, karma has been dealing me a really heavy hand, or God wants me to learn the patience of Job, or something.

My grandmother is terminally ill, and I am trying to see her as much as possible in the time we have left.

My computer's hard drive not two days after my grandmother was diagnosed decided to up and die, taking all my designs, digital photos, my dissertation research, and my business's accounting with it. So I've been running around getting estimates on data recovery (most companies around here are unable to do it). My husband and I have decided to let the data go, so now it's a painstaking job of redoing my accounting (I luckily printed everything out) and my dissertation work (half printed out).

To make matters worse, I misfiled my business taxes with the city of Los Angeles, who now believe that I make an estimated $275,000 a year. I assure everyone, I only *wish* I made that much.

And of course, to add to the bad things that's been happening, my back tire blew while I was driving (at night) on the I-5 freeway and I lost control of my car. My car swerved out of control as I tried to pull the car over to the shoulder, and the hedges on the side of the freeway stopped my car's spin. My car ended up lodged in the bushes, facing perpendicular to the freeway. A search helicopter had to point out my location to the California Highway Patrol.

Then, as if that wasn't enough, one of my neighbors decided that my assigned parking spot was OK for his cars to park in, resulting in two night of me without a parking spot! Ugh. I'm hoping these last days of July are trouble free.

Here's to a better August!

Type A Personality Test

So we've been talking about Type A/B personality a lot lately. Mostly saying, "Oh, that person is so type A." I remembered that I was the one in between 2 personality types or whatever. I thought I was "type C" but when I read the description it didn't sound right. Some Psych major I was!

I took the test online and got my results:

You seem to have a Type B personality. Your personality draws characteristics from each of the other personality types, that is, Type A and Type C. Either you adjust your behavior depending on the situation, or you tend to be moderated in your attitudes. In any case, you are the most balanced of the three personality types.

This makes sense from what I remembered...

Ugh...

So I'm recovering from implant surgery quite nicely, I think. Dental implant surgery that is.

As many of my friends and family know, I've been dealing with short roots in my front teeth since I turned 18. Dentists have been giving me temporary fixes for the last 10 years in the form of ceramic bars and metal retainers, trying to save my real teeth from falling out for as long as possible. For the last three years, I've been fighting off infection on one of the front teeth (tooth #9 for those in the know). This last year it got so bad that I finally had to face the issue. The tooth had absessed. The root was infected, as well as the surrounding bone. My choice was root canal, which would again be only a temporary fix and would perhaps "fail" (I don't really want to know what that means), or have the unstable tooth pulled and eventually replaced by an implant.

Dental implants are also a tricky business, especially in "the aesthetic region." Done wrong, you have a screwed up smile for life. And a lot of things could go wrong - the implant could be placed improperly, the implant could be rejected, the tissue could recede, not to mention bad looking prosthetics. Apparently my situation was especially tricky because the hardest implant situation is two teeth, in the front, right next to each other.

Luckily I live in lovely Los Angeles, where beauty is a top priority, and is, coincidentally, where all the great cosmetically minded health professionals reside. After a number of consultations, I decided on the oral surgeon that I considered to be the best in implant surgery and the prosthedontist that I thought would do the best job making my fake teeth look as natural as possible.

So the steps have been long and drawn out for these implants. The doctors I chose decided that the best course of action to replace my front teeth and preserve my gumline was to do the implants one at a time. So in January, I had my infected tooth pulled and a bone graft to replace the bone that had been eaten away. My prosthedontist put a fixed provisional prosthesis in to preserve the gumline while the bone graft set. No one noticed that it was a fake tooth at all. This week, I went back for the implant placement. That was an actual surgery, unlike the pulling of my tooth and the bone graft five months ago. My prosthedontist decided a week before the surgery that he needed to do an immediate load of a provisional crown while the implant healed to preserve the gumline. This tooth doesn't look as natural, mainly because it's designed to get absolutely no impact whatsoever from the surrounding teeth.

I feel like someone broke the front part of my jaw -- like I fell and hit my front teeth on something hard. The antibiotics are unsettling on the digestive system, and I'm still feeling sluggish -- probably also due to the antibiotics. Now to wait until the implant sets before moving on to the next tooth. My hope is that when they pull tooth #8 there will be enough bone there to place the implant right away. For now, I'm just focusing on healing and moving on.

Because I can...

Who can resist dressing up an unsuspecting dog for Christmas?

Happy Holidays!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Thank you all who made my birthday so great, especially my wonderful husband! Last week, my friends and I went to Cafe Beaujolais in Los Angeles to mark the release of the new crop of Beaujolais Nouveau on November 16th. It was a great time had by all. This week, Joel and I celebrated my birthday at two fine restaurants in Paris! Here we are pictured with this beautiful sugar concoction they made to celebrate my birthday!

Why are so many of my friends in Cancun right now?

So Casey went to Cancun. Dave went with him. Then I randomly call up my friend Jeremy (Jer doesn't know Casey or Dave) and he's on his way to Cancun. Is there something about Cancun right now or at this time of year I should know about?

My Favorite Fruit!

The thing I like about summer is that all my favorite fruits are in season. Strawberries are plentiful, lychee can be found easily, and watermelons are everywhere. As my mom can tell you, my absolute most favorite fruit is the watermelon. I LOVE watermelon. I've eaten so much watermelon in my lifetime and swallowed so many watermelon seeds that I can safely tell children that, in fact, swallowed watermelon seeds do not grow in your belly. That's nothing but a vicious rumor.

Over the last couple years, I've discovered that in fact you can in fact grow brand loyalty for fruits and vegetables. Not just a certain type of onion (like Maui sweet onions). But an actual brand. Why? Because I absolutely believe that Dulcinea Pureheart Seedless Watermelon is THE BEST watermelon ever. I have no idea how they made it (the website claims that it isn't genetically modified), but it's so delicious. It's only slightly more expensive than a seedless watermelon, and it's only slightly smaller, so you're not losing very much in terms of expense. The taste and texture difference is so notably exceptional, especially if you are a watermelon aficionado. I haven't tried their cantaloupe or honeydew melon yet, but I imagine that they also have quite an exquisite taste.

What's in a name?

There has been some confusion in the world about how to refer to me since I've gotten married. The bank initially refused to cash checks written out to "Tina Kittle" even though I had a joint account with Joel. I asked if they could just put Tina Kittle down as an alias since I was keeping my last name. They said no. Then, after a bit of fuss, they arbitrarily changed my name on all my accounts to "Tina Pham Kittle" so I could cash checks.

The other day, Joel received a benefits explanation form from his insurance (I got put on his insurance upon marriage) for "Tina Kittle." Now, I'm pretty darn sure that Disney knows what my name is, since I have a fancy Silver Pass with my name on it. I'm also pretty sure that the dentist knows what my name is, since I opened a line of credit with them with the name "Tina Pham" and I never actually told them to change my last name. But the insurance company has me down as "Tina Kittle," which I won't really protest so long as my coverage is good.

I think because I'm not changing my name, this world is confused. The real problem is that there is a social expectation that permeates through to all aspects of my life that Joel and I should have the same name now that we're married. The bank, the insurance, the grocery store, the restaurants.

Now, Joel and I got into a mini-argument the other day when I told him just to add "Kittle" at the end of this membership form we were filling out, or else the thing would be addressed "Mr. and Mrs. Pham" since they didn't ask what my husband's name is. He asked, if I was going to put Tina Pham Kittle down on half the stuff, why I didn't just change my name to that to begin with and simplify matters.

Good question. I did tell Joel that post-wedding, if people referred to me as Mrs. Kittle, I wouldn't correct them. I told him that if he was all right being referred to as Mr. Pham, I'd be okay with Mrs. Kittle. I didn't actually say I would actively use Mrs. Kittle, though, which I think is where he's surprised.

I did think for a bit about what last name to go with before getting married (though I became way more reflective about this post-wedding when people started addressing me as Tina Kittle) and this is what I came up with.

1. People who meet me first and Joel second will know what my full name is. If they think of him as Mr. Pham, then that's Joel's problem and not mine. People to whom Joel introduces me to as his wife will most likely always know me as Joel's wife first, to which Mrs. Kittle is appropriate. I can respond to both in social situations and no one will think it weird.

2. Okay, yes, we live in a patriarchal society where my last original last name derives from my father and what's the difference between having my father's name and my husband's? My parents raised me and to just totally change my family name seems a little disrespectful to all their hard work. Plus, when they named me, they probably thought long and hard about what name went well with the last name Pham, not a good all-purpose name that could be paired with most names.

3. What if we have kids and I'll have a different last name from my kids? First, no one knows what Joel and I will decide to do about that so that assumption is based on status quo, which had dictated that I change my name. If my kids are [Name] Pham Kittle, then they'll have both our last names. End of issue. Second, in the Vietnamese culture, women don't leave their family names behind and adopt their husband's name when they marry. It's definitely an adopted Western custom. I have many cousins whose moms' names are different from theirs and they don't seem to care. Neither do my aunts. I have a couple cousins growing up who wish their last name was Pham, but other than that they were unaffected by their moms having different last names.

4. I didn't want to get all new IDs, passports, credit cards, etc. Think about that DMV line. Not worth it.

5. I'm used to the name. Tina Pham is my name. I grew up with it. I have degrees that say "Tina Pham." If Joel's not changing his name, why should I?

Disney fun!!!

Using the fancy new Silver Pass gifted to me upon becoming a "Disney wife," I escorted my sister and her friends to Disneyland. Or should I say the Disney complex in Anaheim since it now incorporates two theme parks and a shopping and entertainment area?


We went to California Adventures first since the entrance was closer and Tania, Dena, and I had never been. I haven't heard very many good things about it, besides from Megan, and after going, I think Megan's kind of right. Even though it's kind of small, I liked California Adventures A LOT. Here are the perks:

• Tower of Terror and California Screamin' (the rollercoaster) are super super fun, and more adult than the normal Disneyland ride. It's on par with something you'd find at Six Flags. I didn't go on many of the other rides, but some looked pretty cool - like the ferris wheel.
• There's hardly anyone in there compared to Disneyland. This means shorter wait times!
• I didn't go on the Ferris Wheel, but that looked way more adult as well.
• THEY SERVE BEER & WINE!!! Honest!

My sister, in fact, drinking a beer at California Adventures!!!

Jarrod said that Soaring Over California was great - it was neat but it made me a little motion sick, and we didn't see the Bug's Life 3D show. I did however go on the new Monsters Inc. ride, which I thought was really neat since it incorporated super duper new technology - holograms, digital imagery, etc. - to make the ride. We didn't go on all the rides since we wanted to get to Disneyland, but I probably could have just stayed at California Adventures and been fine.

The real revelation at Disneyland was the Buzz Lightyear ride, which I think is probably now a favorite ride of mine. There's Splash Mountain, "Honey I Shrunk the Audience," and now the Buzz Lightyear ride. It's like being a part of a video game. You get on the ride, and you shoot laser guns at targets! The ride keeps your score, and it takes a picture of you while you're playing - you can email your score and your picture home! I scored the second highest! Not bad for my first time!

Dena (left) and me (right)

Jarrod (left, high score!) and Kelly (right)

Tania, the Lone Space Ranger

I told Joel that we needed to go back to Disneyland soon, mainly cuz we didn't have enough time (or inclination) to get the 50th anniversary gold ears, but I'm gonna try to top my score next time!

My puppy's gonna be on TV!

So this news is so exciting, it's on our family website, Romeo's website, and my own website! Today Romeo got a part in a Pedigree TV commercial! Go Romeo! The whole story's on Romeo's website, so check out the whole story there!

A great cameraphone picture

Can I have another empanada?
Originally uploaded by Tina Pham.

I love this picture of Romeo. It was taken on my 1.3 megapixel Sanyo cameraphone that Sprint PCS made me get when my other phone broke. The nighttime/dim pictures are ass, but this photograph is great! I may even print this picture out and frame it somewhere in the house.

For more on where Romeo was, check out Romeo and Friends.

Maui with an underwater camera...hmm...

Joel swimming around...
Originally uploaded by Tina Pham.

Joel and I went to Maui right after the wedding for two nights. We stayed at the Best Western Maui Oceanfront Inn in a two room suite, which was quite nice actually. The first night there we ate at Sorento's, which was on the hotel property (yes, a fine dining restaurant on Best Western property) and it was exquisite!

I've been to Maui a lot. It's my other favorite island in Hawaii. But I've never gone on a snorkeling boat trip. We went, and we got one of those disposable underwater cameras. It was a lot of fun! I found a sea turtle hanging out at the ocean floor, and Joel and I had so much fun snorkeling together. We're definitely going to take SCUBA lessons now (after Joel's done training for the triathalon). Here's my favorite shot that I took. I think we'll be going back to Maui again.

Back from the wedding!

I am back from my wedding. It was glorious! Everything was so beautiful, and so much prettier than anything I had imagined. I do have to say, though, that it is A LOT of work without a wedding planner.

Joel and I were married at Luana Hills Country Club in Kailua, on the island of Oahu, Hawaii on Saturday, April 8, 2006. It was a beautiful day! It had, from all news accounts, been raining torrentially for over a month before we arrived. So much so that the sewers overflowed and we couldn't swim on some beaches when we got to Hawaii. But on our wedding day, there was little chance of rain and we got to get married outside.

The ceremony site was just breathtaking. The aisle was lined with rose petals, and the mountains were lush and green. It was moving ceremony with a lot of laughter and tears. Then the reception was lots of fun with our chinese lion dancers, a special performance by Aunty Cecilia, and a polynesian dance revue. I changed dresses three times as part of the Vietnamese tradition.

For pictures, please go to: http://www.tinaandjoel.com/wedding/photos.html.